Trump – Weinstein – And the Grandfather Next Door

For the last few days we’ve been bombarded with the news that a powerful movie mogul has been sexually assaulting young women for decades. Some people have been approaching this subject like it’s something new – like we hadn’t heard the stories about the ‘casting couch’ since the onset of the making of motion pictures…and in reality women have been victim of men’s deviant sexual desires since the beginning of time.

Before ole Harvey was outed by some brave women there was Bill Cosby, before that it was Donald Trump, bragging about being able to grab any woman he desired in one of the most vulgar and intrusive ways possible. Harvey just flat out exposed himself – YUCK!! – and good-ole Bill drugged them first!

The overarching discussion is centered on the treatment of the women who report these assaults – why? Why are women afraid? What makes calling these crimes out so egregious? In many cases it’s because the men who commit these crimes are in positions of power and have the money and influence to ruin careers and reputations of the women they assault. This is widely known as are the many ways in which the men and boys can blame the women for tempting them – so in these cases the women/girls are then branded, shamed, and forever scarred by these experiences.

Should all this surprise us? I mean for whatever reason we now have a sexual predator in the White House: One who ran on a platform supported by the fake Christians – they’re fake because in their holy book this kind of behavior is clearly condemned yet they revere men who’ve been married multiple times – accused of sexual crimes and they defend them – not always in their words – but these men face few if any repercussions of any consequence.

And women who seek power and fame themselves aren’t the only victims – aren’t the only ones who’ve had to face the shame and horror of having a man make unwanted sexual advances. When my children were young, we shared garden space with the elders of our community. One day I had to go into their barn to retrieve my garden tools and the grandfather we all called “Pap” began to talk about how unhappy he was with his life, which took me by surprise since this never seemed to be at issue…. and then he stepped forward and grabbed me and began groping me – I fought back and ran from the barn and made my way home at a run. I was shaking and crying and couldn’t seem to wrap my head around what just happened. Never before at any time was I faced with this invasion of my personal safety.

Did I tell anyone? No, not for years, not until after the man passed away and surely not to anyone outside my close circle of friends and family. Why? Well, let me see…. did he make a mistake? Yes, he did and the next day he apologized and promised that it would never happen again… I said okay, and one more thing, never, ever, bring this up again. I don’t want to talk about it, think about it and I hope your promise is kept. If it is, then this goes no further. Was I right to accept his apology and believe him? In hindsight, yes. Nothing was ever said and nothing ever happened again. I continued to help them around their farm – his wife and I continued to be close. She taught me all she knew and more on how to grow a successful garden, tips on canning, preserving, sewing – just about any skill or knowledge that has served me well over the many decades since.

We gotta use some common sense, exercise some understanding in situations that we can never be prepared for…. and we also have to admit that every situation is different insofar as there are unforgivable acts and there are those that can be forgiven when all aspects of these are taken into account.

Weinstein, Cosby, Trump, and others we haven’t heard about yet – and we will – were premeditated, pervasive, and intentional. Humans are sexual creatures-women and men have and unfortunately will in the future take advantage of others in different degrees. I am applauded as are millions of both men and women that these injustices continue. The overarching problem is truth. Truth is under attack! And until we get a handle on how to discern what is truth and what are lies-we’re going to be grappling with these situations over and over again.